You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
drinking out of a sandbucket again
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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