Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
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