Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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