apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Quick, to the slutcave!
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
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