yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
