Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
