I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
