I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
