so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
