just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize