god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
