Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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