You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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