Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
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