I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
