sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
from now on my penis is your penis
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
