Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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