i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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