if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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