it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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