So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
