yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
