Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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