and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
