that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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