We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
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