we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I just threw up on my dentist
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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