Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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