Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
