You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
