I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
