A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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