I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
