So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Sponge bath it is.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
