There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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