Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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