i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
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