Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
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I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
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That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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