first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
