i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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