At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize