genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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