this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
