So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
