I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I have post one night stand depression
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
