Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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