it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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