this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
