Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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