i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
