i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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