I'm laying in your front yard are you home
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
