It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
