Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
My feet surprised me
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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