Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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