told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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