i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
