Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
