that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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