We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
either way he was missing a nipple.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
