I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Randomize
