he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Blood and glitter go together right?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize