i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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