I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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