dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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