Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
